Two years

 

We celebrated our second anniversary a week early in warm, rich Hawaiian air -- air that tastes like jungle and sun and salty ocean. Waimea Valley, a tropical Eden tucked in the Ko'olau Moutains, is home to a small, delicately-lit restaurant that serves the most delicious seared ahi and taro creme brûlée. Completely, wonderfully delicious. Days later, we spent our actual anniversary flying to Portland and driving several hours to Trenton's childhood home in Kennewick, Washington. Unpacking my suitcase at midnight, I stumbled upon a drawer filled with letters and postcards sent before we were married. The most recent one, dated days before Trenton proposed, is a perfect tribute to our two years together.

"You should know I fall in love with you all the time. Its not a stale, stagnant love, left over from before your mission or sustained out of habit, convenience. I fall in love with you again and again, over and over. I fell in love with you when you kissed me on the couch the morning I got to Kennewick. When you gave your homecoming talk. When you fixed the sprinklers with your dad. When we picked cherries at your Grandpa's. When you sing 'Call Me Maybe'. When you drive. EVERY TIME you put your hand on my knee. When you call me "Em". When you split your meal with me. When you speak Portuguese. When you helped my Dad with the boat. When you helped me win cards, when you didn't help me win cards... When you called my snoring cute. When you called me after work the other day just to say 'I love you' before you got in the shower. When you let me sleep on your lap driving to Idaho. When you told me you'd come to Utah. 

The list grows and grows a bit more each day. I could fill all these pages with those little moments. Moments when my heart races a bit, when I stop and think 'This is the best person I know' or 'I am completely happy'. 

I love you! I love saying the words almost as much as I love hearing them from you. How great is love, Trenton? How great and important -- vitally important to God's grand scheme, the master plan. Love makes us the best versions of ourselves, helps us to learn and grow and see. Love makes service natural, fills us with gratitude. I used to wonder how my parents are such good people, and now I know. Its because they've got more love than anyone else I know. Love for each other and love for our Father in heaven. Love for our Savior. 

So thank you for loving me and letting me love you back. It has changed my life."

Twenty-two weeks

December brought the first flutter kicks from our baby. He wiggles and squirms all day now, especially when Trenton speaks Portuguese into my belly button or I drink a cup of hot chocolate. The best and strangest feeling.

Rivers and roads

 

 

The night before Thanksgiving, a few good friends crowded into our studio apartment for pumpkin soup and bread pudding. We sat on the floor and talked about gratitude, then hummed along as Seth played his guitar and sang The Head and the Heart.

A thought

The love is so thick lately.

Eighteen weeks

A boy

 

Our baby is a boy, healthy & seemingly completely at ease in my growing belly.

Bathtime

This afternoon in the the bathtub, I looked at my belly and thought, "Baby, this is a bath. It is one of my favorite places to be."

Apple Sauce

 

I love warm, fresh apple sauce on buttered wheat toast.

Fall leaves

I strung the most beautiful leaves in a celebration of fall and cool air. They hung vibrantly for a week or so and then, one by one, crumpled grey and fell into our pillows. At first I was disappointed, but soon after embraced the somewhat theraputic, though not entirely authentic, changing of seasons within our little home.

Halloween

Halloween at Sunset Beach Elementary School! The greatest.

Sunday

Last Sunday, I baked quiche in a homemade pie crust -- parmesan cheese, spinach, mushrooms and portuguese sausage. The left-over cider was divine.

Glow

My brother James at Ensign Peak overlooking the Salt Lake Valley.

Full

It's finally cooler. I'm wearing a flannel and leggings and the christmas lights are on. We cooked squash this week and had cider with homemade donuts. I'm feeling so much better. Trenton is so full of love, I love the way he looks at me lately, looks at my belly. We read next to each other on the couch and talk about plans, dreams. He's so full of dreams.

Elsa

Kate Roebuck

This interview with artist Kate Roebuck.

In the cold

Outside the Alta cabin, before we hurried in to defrost our fingers on cups of hot chocolate.

The cabin

Heartbeat

Our baby's heartbeat sounds like a washing machine thats been thrown into the sea. On the extra-heavy load setting.

The Pointer Brothers

This instagram account. 

Alison & Lane

Spent Saturday afternoon with Trenton's younger sister Alison and her good friend Lane.

James on the roof

Exploring the roof of my brother's apartment in Salt Lake City. 

Twelve Weeks

I wish I could get an ultrasound every day.

"Remember that there is only one important time and that is now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion." Tolstoy

Cravings

Limited to anything I could prepare on my own as a fourth grader -- cinnamon raisin bagels, cereal, Eggo waffles, macaroni and cheese, microwavable soup, bowl of ice-cream, etc.

Dreams

I dreamt about our baby for the first time on Sunday. She was clean and smiling, sitting on my brothers lap. I picked her up to feed her, glancing in the mirror as we walked by, then sat in the white chair by the window -- in the Norwell house, of course, where all my dreams take place.

I've loved her -- or him, more since then, been happier to bear the aches and inconveniences of pregnancy.

 

 

Dreaming through this flickr account, appreciating film photography and great taste. So good.

Freedom in simplicity

It's interesting to experience pregnancy & anticipate motherhood through the lens of recently returning from our three-month internship in Mozambique. I'm grateful -- I feel grounded and free in an understanding of basic needs and unnecessary accessories. I'm full of hope.

Nine weeks

On Monday, our doctor Tina introduced us to parenthood with some blue gel and an ultrasound wand. Legs, arms, a perfect round forehead -- we watched the small screen with wide eyes and dumb, drooling, awe-struck smiles. Completely bizarre and wonderful, fantastically empowering and tenderly humbling.